Friday, October 21, 2005

Killing Pigs

So, a couple of the guys in the youth group escort me to the shore. Expecting a nice salt water breeze, i’m instead greeted w/ the smell of scorched hair, as I see a gas tank hooked up to a flame thrower that one guy is shooting at a pig as others scrape at it w/ a shovel to clean off all of the hair. Usually, w/ smaller pigs, they just dip the pig in boiling water and then scratch furiously w/ their fingers to get the hair off. A guess a bigger job, calls for a bigger torch.

After scorched, the guys slice a triangle around the pigs butt and then make a round insertion around it’s belly and pull out all of the innards. The reason they cut out the but is so that when they pull the guts out, everything comes, down to the lower intestines and pooper. that way, they don’t have to deal w/ making a mess inside the pig. they then put all of the guts in a basket (*foreshadowing*) and fill the carcass w/ water to dump out all of the blood.

When we had a load, we’d work together to move all of the pigs (these things were huge. if you hung them by a hook so their body extended, they were taller than me) into the bed of the truck and towed them to a big freezer downtown. When we get there and opened up the fridge, I was greeted by at least 20 pig carcasses laid out on the floor. we rubbed their insides w/ salt and added the newbies to the mix and headed back to the village.



Thinking the pig work was done, i was guided to the shore again, where I had my second acquaintance w/ the gut basket. the guys had already removed and cooked the heart and liver (the liver ain’t bad...but I didnt get to try the heart), leaving the stomach and intestines....

The guys laughed when I gave them the what the hell did you keep the intestines and stomach for look and they explained that some Tongans eat them raw....after they are cleaned, which was our duty.

So, I take a section of intestine, walk out into the water and squeeze—like i’m pushing from the bottom of a toothpaste tube—the semi-digested material (read: shit) out of the intestine. Next, I thread a small stick through the intestine and rubbed vigorously through the water to clean out any loose particles.

When we made it through the foot after foot of intestine, large and small, we moved onto the stomach....which when sliced open, smelled much worse than the intestines. disgusting.

Joey Paddlin' in the Pacific...

Times that I wished that I were a better swimmer:

-During summers at treasure lake when Sinfelt, Gavazzi, Owens and Benny would swim to the ropes and taunt me b/c I couldn’t swim there as fast as them.


-In Magic Molly Moll’s pool, when she and Doug taunted me for doing the “Joey Paddle.”


-Yesterday, when a few volunteers and myself rented a little dingy boat and motored to the hidden Mariners Cave, the entrance to which is underwater.

So, we jump off the boat and suit up in flippers and snorkel mask. On top of the water, all you see is the island’s rocky wall. So, we swim up to the wall, time the swell coming towards us, and dive under water about five feet, and swim furiously to the opening ten feet ahead.

Me being me, I panic a little bit, so use up all of my air. Compounded by my poor swimming skills—damn you dubois YMCA swimming class—i’m half way through and freaking out. My first reaction---hey joey, why don’t you open your mouth! So, i swallow a bunch of ocean water in my panic...but then collect myself to swim through. I see the end and start to come up, but as I got to the top, I could tell that I wasn’t quite through the passage yet. Ifeel around the rock overhead and then just pull as quickly as I could until I got through and burst out of the water, gasping for air while coughing up water at the same time! Not good when opposite actions happen at the same time, especially when my body is dead and in water!

So, the guy who went through w/ me helped me to the side of the cave where I latched onto a rock until i caught my breath.

After I got my wits, though, it was worth it to fight through. It was a huge round opening with stalactites, stalagmites and what-not all over. We climbed up a rock wall about 20 feet and perched ourselves on a ledge, yelling out to make “ECHO” noises and just checking out the cave. THe ceiling was probably about 100 ft. high and the basin of the cave was circular, about the width of a basketball court.

Anyway...when swells came in and rebounded off the back wall of the cave, the entire cave filled up w/ steam, produced from I dont know what b/c I’m not a science guy—but it all dissipated when it flowed back out through the underwater opening. So, about every 10 seconds, we got a nice steam bath.

The other two guys were climbing up to little ledges that stuck out of the cave, but I was still a little freaked out, and thinking about the return journey through, so I just saved my energy.

But, when one of the guys tried to descend the wall we climbed, he lost his footing and just slid down the side about 10-15 feet. This is kind of hard to describe, b/c while the cave has very jagged, rough coral-like edges, the flat parts are incredibly slippery as well. So, he is sliding, scraping, sliding and scraping down, and I’m thinking, holy shit, as I see that between the wall and the water are a base of large, pointing boulder-like rocks. somehow, he has the court savvy (yeah Coach Rod Smith!) to catch the last ledge before the bottom and propel himself outward toward the water.

I see this whole thing, freaked out b/c i think he’s going to get seriously messed up and how the hell are we going to get him out of here, since we’re kind of trapped in this cave you have to swim underwater to get out of.....but he came up from the water, freaked out, but ok. His feet were really cut up and he had scrapes, but amazingly, beyond that, he was fine.

I’m relieved but at the same time, not too comfortable, b/c I still have to climb down the thing! So, I take my sweet-ass time, taking a few minutes each time I have to find a new hold for my feet on the descent, as the guy who fell hangs out below to help if I should meet the same fate he did!

but, I make it down ok...swim around a bit and then face the task of swimming out again. We catch the outgoing swell, and this time I swim on my back and make it through w/out even swallowing water!

I was still freaked, so took it easy the rest of the day and decided that would be the last time I see Mariners Cave.