A Fish's Nightmare....

I’m a fish’s nightmare. This should not be confused with me being a fish’s “worst” nightmare. The way I think, a worst nightmare would have to do with death—that of the fish, or its close friends or family.

I, am a nightmare. I’m this big land creature—goggles, flippers and snorkel making me look monster-esque—chasing you with a sharp metal object and the intent to kill. Scary shit. However, with me, it ends with intentions. I couldn’t hit a 20-pound tuna that has broken fins. Therefore, I’m a mere nightmare.

Just returned from a camping outing. Good times. Fell in love with my new hammock. I will never again be without one. I found solace in this new toy as I returned, dejected and fishless from the ocean.

This was our second time out since Tessa was killed. The first time, we barely got 20 feet into the water without paranoia setting in. It was totally joyless, constantly, irrationally, looking over our shoulders. There have only been 3 shark attacks in the past 20 years in Tonga....one death. Still, this hit a little close to home.

This past weekend, we got some of our courage back. I think that we’ll be a little apprehensive for now on, but this time, I was able to enjoy myself. Swam along some beautiful reef, saw (yes, emphasis on saw) some beautiful fish. Schools of hundreds of fish will swim right in front of your face when you’re in the water. Parrot fish—yes, their faces and colors are reminiscent of parrots—swim at the ocean bottom. Electric blue fish darting in and out of holes in the coral. It’s like being that little scuba dude who so often can be found in individual’s fish tanks.

On our return boat ride into Neiafu, we saw a big ole sting ray breach the water, catch about five feet, and splash back into the harbor. Pretty unreal....more so b/c I didn’t know that sting rays could do that. Sting rays are big, black, square-shaped fish, with the corner of a square being the fish’s face. a long tail—the stinger—protrudes from it’s backend.

I was toting a huge backpack, bag with snorkel and spear stuff and a grill top, a little worried about catching a ride b/c Neiafu is a ghost town on Sundays. all biz’s are closed and people generally just go to church, rest and eat. so, i march to the street and hear my neighbor—the fire chief—yell my name from the fire station.

This is just ridiculous. All the firefighters in Vava’u do is drink kava. they have big kava fundraisers at the freaking fire station. granted, it’s not like downing beers, but it still makes you stumble. and my guess is that firemen wouldnt want to be wobbly during a fire. i guess they could pee out the flames—that being the other, only effect of kava.

i digress: sinamoni calls me over and offers me a ride...a god send. on the way back, i learn that a high school kid from my village drowned on saturday. was out fishing with his friends and got sucked out by a rip tide. poor bugger. Ocean hasn’t been friendly this year.

Just more reinforcement for our ocean rules....stay near the reef, don’t go into deep water, never swim and dusk and dawn, and never, never swim alone.

Not sure how to change the subject from that, so I’ll just do it:

I guess a lot has been going on here. Since Tessa died, a married couple quit and another girl was removed from service. Six from the new group were stationed here....now we’re down to two.

Also, Negaya, the Australian volunteer who acts as management supervisor at the Vava’u Youth Congress, is ending her service next week. So, we’re getting a big people shake up.

Brighter news, I’m taking over for Negaya here, with the goal of getting a grant to fund the salary of a Tongan manager who will work alongside me until I leave, and then take over in full capacity as manager.

Our youth group newsletter is going to press on Tuesday. a few of our tongan volunteers were ACE reporters. Should be a good communication devise. a big hindrance to our effectiveness has been communication. youth groups don’t know what we offer. we hope to use the newsletter for that purpose. It will be a free way to announce youth group fundraisers and advertise youth business. we’re also highlighting one youth group/issue—featuring a youth group that just completed a successful project....will be informative for youth groups working on similar projects, and inspirational to others who want to follow in the path of success.

the cultural entertainment program is still in its beginning stages—our tongan staff is working to form a committee to lay out our action plan.

back in the village all is going well. I’ve been participating in the tri-village area choir. it’s pretty sweet. it’s a dude choir and seriously, nearly the whole male population of the three villages participate, and love it. these huge tongan dudes just love to sing. and they are good at it—booming voices. we sing the scale...Tonga-fied. the scale is translated to tongan numbers: 3-tolu, 4-fa, 5-nima, 6-ono, 7-fitu, 8-valu, 9-hiva, but with shortened versions of the numbers....to, fa, ni, o, tu, va, hi. the numbers are listed on the sheet music and you just sing along. sounds easy enough. but, singing from:

3,4,7,9,5,3,6,8,5,9 ain’t easy at the pace we’re required. to,fa,tu,hi,ni,to,o,va,ni,hi. anyway....after practices: mondays and wednesdays, we feast, of course. it’s unreal how much food the villages prepare. they serve us in boxes that are used to carry a case of pop (for the record, it’s Sota in Tonga). fried fish, root crops, lu, shell fish, chicken, sausage.....all this at 10 at night. it’s great.

it’s like all other tongan feasts in that throughout the feast, people stand and give speeches. usually, i’ll speak on all these occasions, but this time, i’d held off for the first five or six practices. but, one night in the neighboring village, i knew it was time. I stood and thanked the gentlemen from okoa and utui for coming and singing so beautifully, b/c we need them to overpower the men from Makave (my village) who sing awful. UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER. I continued to thank the women for making the food and noted that the food, of course, is the most important part of practice and went on to say that i’m going to take my extra food home, put it in my fridge and reheat it for dinner the next night. LAUGTHER AND ROUND OF APPLAUSE.

Tongans love corny humor...I dont know if I can ever leave this place. it’s done wonders for a kid who is the usually the only one to laugh at his own jokes. anytime you poke fun and it’s remotely amusing, tongans will laugh at it for five minutes and tell stories about the joke for weeks to come.

tongans love to make fun of people for going to events just for the food. crashing weddings and funerals is frequent and expected. people come for the food. they love to make fun of people for doing this, though. every event I attend, at least one guy will try to be funny and accuse me of only coming for the food (ok, so it is a big motivator). a few weeks ago, i was chatting with a few gals from the village who started talking about a funeral in a village near Neiafu. they got all excited talking about going to it. i asked if they were family or just going for the food. they got a chuckle and noted that i know tongans well.

so, they got a kick when I flat-out told the woman that the food was what brought us there. They also find it completely odd that I will keep leftovers in my fridge. refrigeration is a new thing here, so tongans are still dominated by the thinking that food must be consumed immediately. if you can’t finish, you give it away to someone who will. so, they just laugh their heads off when they ask me what i ate for dinner (that, where are you going, what are you doing later, and it’s hot, isn’t it are everyday questions) and i respond that i heated up last night’s food. they warn me that it will make me sick and demand that next time, i get rid of the food and just go to their house to eat fresh, hot food.

so, when i got sick last weekend, of course, reheating food was the cause. the next day, i was delivered food from the bush and had to fend off dinner invites like i was swiping flies from my face.

well, this is getting long, so I’ll close with some funny Tongan names, translated to English: John Airplane, John Loves Animals, Lemon, Fraction, Computer, Coconut, Disneyland, Magazine, Apple, Cinnamon, Diamond, Water Tank, and my favorite, Telephone—who works as a receptionist. It’s like naming a guy jeeves or a girl, Bunny...you’re mapping out their destiny.

HOpe all is well at home. Miss ya’all and think of ya’all often.

Joey